fluuutopia's thoughts

** I can be cold, I can be warm. it can be raining or rainbow.. I can cry out or smell flavor. snow doesn't mean sad. cold.. doesn't mean bad...

i'm not a good person - i know. i already know that i have many flaws and lacks. but i try to live my life good. i try to do my best. not every day, and it's sad, of course.  not all time, and this is reason why  i'm still can't find the purpose of my life.. ok i wasn't good from the beginning, but i try to be better to my closest.  but they often don't think so.. i can feel it sometimes. just feel. they don't tell anything.  i just know it. so.. so i'm interested a lot.  in what kind of way i should do something.  in what reason another people are more comfortable to my friends.  was i at least someone really " dear/special"  person? or just a little  comfortable person.  was i a good friend ? am i a good friend? is there a person who is grateful cuz i'm living my life? is there somebody ..?